At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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