If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
