apparently the secret to your success is patron
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
