I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
