week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
