I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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