So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
