That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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