Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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