She is in my trunk
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
