I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
