I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
