Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
