Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
