i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
