the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
