i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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