Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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