Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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