Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize