you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
