i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
