so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
