Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
