1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
