I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
