it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I came so hard my ears popped.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
