Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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