we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize