nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just gargled with NyQuil
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
