tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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