She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
