For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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