We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
