Have you finally orgasmed yet?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
