# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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