Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
