Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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