your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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