i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
