the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
