Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
