hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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