Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
