it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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