just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
