Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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