Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
no, he came in my armpit
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
