So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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