Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
