Im at strip club and am horny
barbara walters just said penis...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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