ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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