Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
