Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
