Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
