if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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