at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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