Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize