Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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