I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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