Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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