if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
